High maintenance animals

To get you all up to speed, my parents left for France on Saturday. They asked me to stay home for the two weeks they are gone to take care of the animals. I said sure, I am a capable young adult, I have lived on my own for the last two years, plus it will be nice to not have my parents hovering around for a while. (They have really started to lose their minds, my father was literally walking around in his boxers muttering about how we have too many cats.)

I was not aware of how much attention our animals need until the morning they left when my mom gave me the list of animal upkeep. I'm not talking anything as simple as food, water, and shelter, I am well aware of what it takes to care for an animal. No no, there is a whole page of instruction on what animals get what medicine on what days and at what times, what times to let which animals in and out, what food to give them at what time...

I can't take it.

It takes up so much time of my day, I spend so much time thinking about what I have to do, preparing to do it, and then actually carrying out the care these animals actually need.

I also can see why my dad is going nuts. The cats just follow you around meowing because they want you to feed them, even if they have literally just been fed. I catch myself talking to them as if they can understand me.

For example, from this morning at 7 a.m.: "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!? I JUST FED YOU! HOW ARE YOU STILL HUNGRY?!?"

If you notice that I've lost my mind the next time you see me, take pity and humor me. It was the animals.

Back

Hello readership out there in internet land.

This is getting redundant, but I do know that it has been forever since I've updated this thing. I'm going to do better now, I promise.

To get those that don't know back up to speed, this is what I've been doing since the last post:

Graduated from college, still not sure how I made it.

Went to NYC a time or two to see some good people (one special person in particular).

Looked for a job in my major (communications with a concentration in journalism), with absolutely no success.

Started painting houses again because funds are quite low.

Planned a trip to Colorado in August.

Planning on moving to the city by the end of the summer.

Thought about how I need to find a job in the city.

That's about it, more to come on all of those topics soon. If anyone still reads this thing, it's good to have ya!!! Cheers, much love.

People that make my life interesting

Seeing as I'm kind of at a loss for witty shit to write about, I'm going to be doing a multi-installment introduction of all the people that make my life interesting in so many strange ways. I'll try to find the most embarrassing picture possible for each segment as well.

Now I simply cannot cover everybody, so if you get left out, don't feel bad, I still love you.

Here goes...

Name: Paul

Known Aliases: N.F.P. (Not Fun Paul), Peesh, and most recently: Zongo

I met Paul freshman year when we were both running XC at Cortland and we've been friends ever since. I've lived with Paul for the last two years, last year in Shit House, and now this year in Shit Apartment. (There will be a profile of both of those places soon). Paul quit running for the team sophomore year, and decided that he wanted to get big. So he started lifting weights like a damn animal. He did develop some real nice man breasts. That was fine, except that now he has decided to be a runner again, and his breasts are weighing him down.

Paul has earned the nickname N.F.P. over the last year, after he ceased to be fun. Maybe it's him becoming mature at a faster rate than the rest of us idiots, or maybe he's just a pussy. He used to get wild and do fun things like yell at crackhead townies, smear cake into the carpet, throw his phone down the street like Chad Pennington throws footballs.

Paul also may or may not be a serial killer, he disappears for long periods of time, makes up excuses to leave the apartment, like going to buy alfredo sauce at 11:30 at night. We're convinced he murders people like Patrick Bateman.

In spite of the probable homicides, and the lack of fun, he's still a blast to be around, and he has made my time here at Cortland bearable. Good job Zongo!

Herrro

Been a looong time since I've updated this thing. If anyone out there in internet land is still reading this, I apologize and I'll try to do better. I should have plenty of time, seeing as I'm not doing any school work.

What drive I had to do work has completely left me, so instead of just doing it, I'm ignoring it all until the last possible moment... it's a bold strategy, we'll see how it works out.

I figure that with only two weeks of class left, I can let it slide and it won't effect my grades that much, and to be honest as long as Bitterbaum The Birdwatcher hands me that diploma in a month I really don't care what grades I get.

More to come soon. Stay classy.

I hate treadmills

The weather has turned sour yet again in Cortland. When I got back from class to go for my run it was 35 and raining. Normally this wouldn't have kept me from the run, but Paul Fiore convinced me to go to the gym and run on the treadmill.

I hate treadmills.

I don't know why I agreed to it. Treadmills are the worst, it's always too hot in the gym, there is no scenery, they make my legs hurt, I always end up running at 6:15 pace because I'm bored, I can't fart without making the whole place nauseous (running causes flatulence... it's just science).

I do however enjoy the look on peoples faces when they see me on a treadmill. At 6' 2" I already stand out, add the fact that I am wearing split running shorts, running four times faster than any of the sorority girls or meatheads that usually inhabit gym treadmills, and that I am sweating profusely and I draw lots of bewildered looks.

Aside from the boredom and making a spectacle of myself, it turned out to be a decent run. Kicked up the incline and let the legs fly a little, felt pretty good. Would have felt better outside though...

The school will stand...for now

Maybe I won't burn down the school after all. I met with the "Executive Assistant to the President" the other day, and it turns out that I am only 1.5 credits short of graduating, not the 9 they had originally told me I was short.

How I understood it, if you go over the maximum allowable credits in activity/participation, the amount you are over (4 in my case) need to be made up. They don't just not count, they count against you in essence. So instead of needing 124 to graduate, I need 128.

While I am glad that I will be able to graduate on time by adding an independent study, I'm still frustrated and confused by the system of counting credits at this ass-backwards excuse for an educational institution. This is the first time in my four years here that I have heard about this, and we are told to register for the credits from sports every semester, if I had just stopped registering for those credits when I got to the max allowable, this whole situation would have been avoided...

Unfortunately because of the extra workload, I won't be able to run outdoor track this year. It sucks to end my running career at Cortland like this, I have learned so much and made so many amazing friends while on this team. And for any of those friends reading this, I just want to say how much you have all meant to me over the years.

That said, I will be around, it's not like I'm dying or anything. It was time for me to move on anyway, I feel like I've accomplished all I can in collegiate running, obviously I would have liked to run better, but now it's time to get to other things.

I'm training for triathlons now, so anyone at races this summer better watch out.

I could burn down the school...

I was recently called in to my advisor's office to "discuss an issue with my credits." I was then informed that I was 9 credits short of graduating due to a glitch in the way credits toward graduating are counted. My transcript says that I am eligible to graduate on time in May. BUT because I changed majors my sophomore year, not all of my participation credits (credits earned through XC and Track) count toward the overall.

Needless to say I was not a happy student.

I would need to pick up three more credits in the last half of the semester as an independent study, then take two online classes over the summer. One professor suggested I take his class "Films Of Spike Lee" over the summer. Oh fucking joy, I get to take a class about a racist african-american director that I hate, taught by a racist african-american professor that I don't particularly like.

The fact that this whole mess was brought to my attention a mere two months before I was supposed to graduate is completely ridiculous.

I'm not going to let this stand. I'm going right to the top. Emailed the president of the college a long ranting message about how this school is lying to its students to swindle their money away from them. That'll show 'em.